Nick and Rachel

Growing Girl

// July 1st, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Mariah, Motherhood, Rachel

i hate when i write an entire post and then lose it! grrr….attempt #2 for this post:

i thought being at home for the summer would lead to more frequent posting. quite the opposite. even though mariah now takes one nap that gives me 2-3 hours to myself, i spend it doing other things. my photography business items take over, as does cleaning, reading a good book or other’s blogs, or taking a much needed nap myself. not to mention our site was hacked twice now and inserting pictures is a big headache now for some reason.

i’m so enjoying being home with mariah. we have a nice little routine of getting out of the house every morning for a walk/run, playground, errands, zoo….etc. followed by lunch, nap and playtime. having the little pond right behind our house is great for those crabby moments. one lap around and she’s just fine.

i don’t know how i’m going to go back to work in august! leaving a four month old last year wasn’t hard at all. she mostly ate and slept and made cute faces and noises. now everything has changed. she’s soaking up information like a sponge and it already breaks my heart to leave her with someone else. i want to be the one who teaches her new words and colors and shapes and morals and obedience. maybe i’m just being selfish and my need for control is coming through, but maybe in this case that’s ok.

mariah had her 15 month check up today (a little late b/c i kept forgetting to schedule). we had to see a different doctor b/c i’m a slacker, but he was so impressed with her. he asked if she had 1-2 words other than mama and dada that we understood. we counted a few weeks ago and she had 30!!! she’s been rapidly adding to that every day.

he also said she’s doing very well socially and was impressed she didn’t cry or squirm during her exam. then she wow’ed me by not crying at the first shot, wimpering just a bit for the second, and then just a few tears on the last one. she’s never done that before!

she’s getting so grown up i can hardly stand it, but i sure do love it!

and for those of you interested in stats: 30 inches (30th percentile) & 24lbs. (65th percentile)

restoration

// April 29th, 2010 // No Comments » // Motherhood, Rachel

on sunday, darren talked a little about restoration. i’ll be honest, i had a million other thoughts going through my head that i only caught little parts, but restoration was one of the last points and it hit home. i need some.

to restore:

• return to its original or usable and functioning condition
• regenerate: return to life; get or give new life or energy
• give or bring back
• repair: restore by replacing a part or putting together what is torn or broken
• bring back into original existence, use, function, or position

i need all of those.

why?

maybe it’s being a mom. lots of people say being a mom changes how you take care of yourself. i focus on my daughter and her needs before mine. my world usually revolves around her.

maybe it’s nick working so many hours combined with motherhood. it left me drained. maybe it’s that when i have free time i spend it working on my photography business. website, blog, design, contracts, networking….. maybe it’s lack of sleep. or not taking vitamins. or the fact that my class is finished and work is slow.

it’s all of those combined i’m sure. i haven’t given myself time for myself. i think about it. i know i need it. but i don’t give myself any time. i need a pedicure, massage, bubble bath.  something to relax and bring restoration.

but honestly, those things might help momentarily at best. i’m finding that i rely my own strength too much. WAY too much. and no amount of quiet time, massage or bath time is really going to bring me back. i need to rely on God. i can’t tell you the last time i read my bible. i mean really read it. i get a daily verse on my phone every morning, but i just read it. i just see the words. i need restoration in Him in addition to all those nice girly things.

hopefully i don’t keep putting it off.

walking smartie pants

// April 12th, 2010 // No Comments » // Mariah, Motherhood

i’m not one of those moms who writes monthly letters to her child. and sometimes i feel guilty about it. i should be recording the milestones and sharing wonderful words of wisdom with her that she’ll look back on and read with tears in her eyes. but then i remember that monthly (and later yearly) letters are NOT a requirement of motherhood and i take a million pictures to help jog my memory, right? besides, as a a working mom i barely even have time to write a few blog posts a week some weeks and my book club book is being neglected.

but today, i’ll record some milestones.  it’s slow at work and i might not remember to put them in the baby book this week since nick has been forced to put in 11 hour days and work weekends and the house is a mess.

**

mariah is walking!  she’d been taking a few steps independently since last week, but after 3 (5 max) she’d end up on her butt and crawl. now she’s going for it.

she’s walking around like a little zombie. her elbows are bent and her hands are open and straight in front of her for balance. she’s wobbly so her whole body shifts side to side. and she’s concentrating so hard that her face is all scrunched up. yes. a zombie. *note to self: record video*

she’s also talking up a storm. the usual babbling that most kids do, but i believe she does it in excess. i LOVE to hear her playing by herself talking and giggling away. sometimes there’s a cute little “ohhh” when she discovers something fascinating i guess. this morning she played with a stuffed duck in the car and i’d like to think she was showing him and telling him all about what was out the window. then she’d kiss him, giggle and “shake” him while saying “ah ah ah”. not sure what that means.

her current vocabulary: dada, mama, ball, kuck (duck), keykey (kitty), baby, gog (dog). i LOVE when she says baby. it’s long and drawn out and so sweet. “baaabyyy” melts my heart.

what i might love the most is that she understands what we say – which is tied to the memory i suppose. she has a fantastic memory and must be soaking up information like crazy. she remembers where a ball once was, that a particular magazine has a picture of a baby or dog, he knows what shoes are and that they go on her feet, that putting on a coat means “bye bye”…and she knows when we hide the pacifer. stinker!

last night i said, “mariah, it’s time to change your diaper” and she went to the changing table and handed me a diaper. genius!

we made monkey noises when reading a jungle book and now she says “ah ah ah” when she reads it.

**

um…i just thought of like 8 more stories, but i’ll spare you. i need to just save one or two good ones for their own entries. otherwise i might be writing all day.

working mommy woes

// March 29th, 2010 // No Comments » // Motherhood

rough morning today. mariah is starting to cry when i leave her at daycare. i mean, she gets over it pretty fast because by the time i’m around the corner she’s usually done. today it took her a little longer. (i waited and listened – why do i do that to myself?)

she also needs lots of snuggles before i leave her. well, she needs snuggles even when i’m playing with her or even near her – she melts my heart.

and because she melts my heart and needs me (and sometimes wants me more than daddy) i have a hard time leaving her at daycare some mornings.

this was one of those mornings.

and as i drove i away, i got to thinking. thinking about all the things she’s learning. her new words: ball, duck (kuck), bubble. how she knows how to kiss baby dolls. how she lifts up her shirt to find her belly button when you ask her where it is.  and the fact that she took 5 steps in the kitchen this weekend.  i was thinking about those things because i’ve found out that she’s learned all of them from daycare. i think we teach her, but then i discover they’ve been working with her on it, or they’ve been playing with babies and finding their bellybuttons.

that’s what school is supposed to do, right? teach your children?  but i want to teach her. i want to be the first person to see her discover a bellybutton and take steps on her own. *sigh* i thought being a working mom was hard before. now she’s learning so much and i get to see it second hand. i’m not even with her enough hours in the day to teach her things. we get 45 minutes in the morning and an hour and a half at night. (i’m not counting our car rides, because what can you do from the front seat of the car really?)

it’s one of those days when i want to stay home SO BAD.

hopefully it passes like it usually does.

one year invites

// March 6th, 2010 // No Comments » // Mariah, Motherhood, The Grays

can you believe it? mariah turns one in twelve days!  it’s flown by. i miss those itty bitty newborn days, but i love seeing her little personality, hearing her sweet voice, and getting slobbery kisses.

these are the invites i made for her party in two weeks. i found cheap notecards at target on clearance and added the paper to the front. the nice cursive is nick’s.  mine’s still stuck in fifth grade – the last time i used it. i hand wrote the information on the inside which took quite some time, but it adds a more personal touch i suppose.

i’m going to attempt making tissue paper poms to hang from the ceiling and bake up something yummy. hope those both turn out ok.